I recently read an article by Deiter F. Uchtdorf called Looking for the Good in which he asked, “Have you ever noticed that people can usually find whatever they are looking for? Look hard enough, and you can discover both good and bad in almost anyone and anything.” While he wasn’t speaking directly about marriage, the same principle can most certainly be applied to the relationship with have with our spouse.
What are you looking for? If you are in the habit of fault-finding with your spouse, you will find them. Later in the article he said, “Those who look for the bad will certainly find things that are not so ideal.” So stop looking! In spite of my best efforts I am still very far from being a perfect husband — if Leah chooses to look for my faults, she will find them.
On the other hand, I do have a lot of great qualities. If she looks for them, she will be able to see my strengths. My strengths are many, and her strengths are also just as great. Your strengths are equally impressive, and so are those of your spouse! It is all too easy to ignore the long list of admirable qualities of our spouse because we choose to focus instead on one big, glaring, flaw.
Fortunately for me, my wife does focus on my positive attributes and I feel extremely loved as a result! I strive to be better, because I feel appreciated when she notices my strengths. It gives me the motivation I need to work on my own faults without her having to point them out for me. I am very good at knowing what my weaknesses are — we are all very aware of how imperfect we are. Do yourself and your spouse a favor and look for the good, focus on the positive! Nobody is perfect, but we become better, stronger people when we have the loving support of a spouse who chooses to look for the good in us.